How seriously should one take his parents? This is an unanswered question in any young grown ups mind. Different societies answer this question very distinctly. The society I belong to, tells me that my parents are always right, no matter what. It tells me that they are in the driver's seat of my life. It says that I am answerable to them at all times.
I do not like this. But then again nobody has bothered to ask me.
I feel parents need to draw a line between parenting and over parenting. Parenting should include being a friend of the kid too.
Well, I cannot change my parents now and I have grown to love them they way they are (the way they have too). So, I can only try and make myself the kind of parent I wanted them to be. Firstly, I genuinely am going to let my kid make his own decisions from a very young age. Even if it is regarding clothes, regarding food, regarding friends. Anything. Of course, for me to give him that freedom I need to make him responsible enough. But I believe that responsible attitude can be developed only by making him practice decision making. Finally, what matters is how you make the decision. Any decision needs to be balanced. It cannot be based either on too many emotions or too many facts. It has to be a holistic process. So, I believe for that a holistic approach is also required towards child raising.
Secondly, I plan to encourage my kid's inquisitiveness. I hope I keep the patience and never answer, 'just because I say so' to any of his Whys. When I was a kid, I had this habit of asking Why for everything. My parents used to get bugged because of it. But I think, a kid should never hear the dreadful statement 'just because I say so' from his parents. Because, when a kid is a kid, he believes his parents are there to answer his every doubt. When they refuse to answer the truth, he learns to accept a lie as an answer or even anger as an acceptable reaction. Whereas, we do not need to lie to the kids or get angry because they ask questions. I will have to continuously bear it in my mind that he is asking because he does not know. And because he does not know, he is asking the best source available to him.
Thirdly, every kid in the age group of 5 to 15 must be exposed to whatever there is to be learned in this world. It is a common known fact that in this age, all kids are like a sponge. They absorb whatever you say to them, whatever you show them. IF the kids know a little bit about everything, they can choose much better. I wonder why none of the parents I know, take their kids out for a walk and talk to them about the surrounding environment, the different trees, the infrastructure around them, the kind of vehicles on the road, the right way to fill potholes on the road etc. There are so many interesting topics that can be discusses. Instead, parents waste time on scolidng them about not studying, not playing enough, for some school problems etc.
I went for a walk with one of my uncles one day and he spoke to me about such a variety of things, that I was left astounded and excited for weeks later. He spoke to me about the Rickshaw unions, the type of dogs, dog shelters in the city, minimum wage of workers working on the road, the afforestation project going on the hills of Pune, Abraham Lincoln (since it was his birthday that day) etc etc. Phew !
I think every kid wants his parents to be a treasure of knowledge and information. What a shame if we are unable to fulfill this wish every time.
