When i was doing graduation, my class had 120 smthng ppl....ppl from various backgrounds, of various religions, of different ages, from different countries and ethnicities...a large diaspora of human beings....from all those 3 ppl (girls) were reeli good frnds of mine .....outside this core grp, i knew a couple of guys , some girls etc...but i hardly knew the rest ....and i mean i actually dint even knw the names of the rest....which is a bit odd since i am known to be quite a friendly person...infact when i was a kid, my grandmother used to tell her friends who were visiting us for the first time, "u can ask anyone at the start of the lane where Pradnya lives and they ll bring u here to our place" . This was the scene...I was a common factor in the players of all age groups...i ve even sat with a group of oldies and gossiping women for many days....so thats friendly right? i mena i was definitely not an introvert....i used to love being with people...love talking to them.
Then why did nt i take the effort to know all the 120 odd ppl in my class...rather in my case, the question would be, why dint i naturally feel the urge to talk to them, get to know them...
weird i would say....let me introspect a bit...bear with me ! :)
well by the time i reached graduation, there was too much fuss abt me beign friendly in my family.... it was to an extent that one of my uncles suggested me being a VJ....my parents were shocked ...hehe i mean kids whose families expect them to grow up and get a blue collared job dont expect close relations to suggest the profession of a VJ for their kid...they would rather ve loved to hear smone saying that Pradnya should become an engineer or sm equally intellect related profession.... and by saying this i mean no offence to the ppl who are VJs , DJs, Rjs etc....I am just stating a widely held opinion abt ur profession ...and that opinion is because the visible part of your job is "talking"..which doesn seem a very difficult thign for most...but i am quite sure that anyone of those most ppl would not be able to speak so much without a script(assuming VJs dnt have a script)...neways i am doing it again..straying from the main pt...
so ! I was saying that my parents did some introspection and concluded that ppl are getting the idea that i am just a chatter box and no brain bcos of a one sole reason which was i talk too much ! Well i guess any level headed parents would ve thought that....ad thank god they did...o/w i would ve been a VJ and i dnt think i could ve done it well !
So the process of making me less of an extrovert began thus....i started getting scolded for talking so much and being so excited perpetually and making so many friends and etc etc....
Gradually it started penetrating me that i shoudl not talk so much...i should make few friends...i shouldn go and talk to absolute starngers and i should become a ladylike girl...i ve still not reached that ladylike level...but yeah i dont talk to absolute strangers anymore and i have become a pure Puneri and dnt say hi to anyone before they say hi to me, i dnt tell ppl too much abt myself, i dnt bring my friends home that often, in short i ve changed....
Well i ahve still not realised what the advantages of being such a person are...mayeb i will in the long run...but i do know one thing...that i missed out on a lot of stuff ...i missed out on the opportunity of making sooo many friends...i could ve known sooo many ppl liek i said earlier...i coudl ve learned sooo much frm them....i would ve been able to look at life frm so many different angles....but i got stuck to just one way of thinking abt life...the maharashtrian middle class academically oriented family's way.....
i dnt knw whats it like to take challenges...I dnt knw what opportunites lie ahead of me...what assorted opportunites lie ahead of me....i am stuck in this frame.....i am just not ready to get out of my comfort zone...i lack the guts ( not innately though) ...my boldness got snubbed....
Today i look at the ppl who were in my class....the places they ve been to...one is helping the Chinese govt to structure their education system according to the global needs...one is wokring in Dubai....one keeps travelling working with NGOs.....one is learning to play the guitar in the US...one is into journalism....one is totally into adventure sports....I mean ppl ve actually gone palces ....and I am stuck here i feel....maybe i am wrong though....maybe even my time will come and ill spread my wings and take a test flight smwhr....there i will defintely wont shy away from making friends....
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